Post by jpmessiah on Sept 14, 2005 14:16:42 GMT -5
What book am I reading? I am reading the Bible. Yep, my co-worker got me to read the bible and I always wanted to. I think everyone could use a little religion in their lives, but you would never believe what I learned. God is the first guy to punk someone.
Yeah. Move over Ashton Kutcher. God did it first. His first victim was Abraham as far as I know. I may get some of the facts confused, but here is how the story went. Abraham was chilling when he heard God's call and promised to follow him. Abraham was down. He was in G-Unit before G-Unit even existed and God promised him mad land and riches, wives and so on. So, Abraham had it good, but God kept checking him. "I will hook you up man, if you do me some flavor favors," God would say.
Abraham was like, "no doubt. I got your back kid." But God kept doing this. Abraham kept doing things that were already promised to him by God. His faith was being tested and Abraham was passing the initiation.
So, one day God tells Abraham, "you are going to have to sacrifice your son to me." Isaac, his son, was probably being annoying. He kept missing his curfew, running around the house, being a pain and so, Abraham was like, "sure, why not."
So Abraham makes Isaac think they are going to sacrifice a goat or something to God and they are walking up the mountain to the theme of The Dick Van Dyke Show when Isaac gets a little nervous. "Yo dad, what's up with this shiznit? We have no goat. What are we going to sacrifice?" he asked.
Abraham turns to his son and goes, "Don't worry about it" and surprisingly Isaac didn't, skipping along the trail until his dad was like, lay down for a second, I want to test this rope and Isaac did as he was told. Abraham tied him up and was like, "hey, I am going to practice with my knife, don't be scared" and when he was about to come down with the blade, out comes an angel running to Abraham. "Whoa!! Whoa. Chill dawg. You've been punked," the angel said.
Everyone just laughed and Abraham and Isaac stood up and smiled, stating, "We just got punked."
Yeah. Move over Ashton Kutcher. God did it first. His first victim was Abraham as far as I know. I may get some of the facts confused, but here is how the story went. Abraham was chilling when he heard God's call and promised to follow him. Abraham was down. He was in G-Unit before G-Unit even existed and God promised him mad land and riches, wives and so on. So, Abraham had it good, but God kept checking him. "I will hook you up man, if you do me some flavor favors," God would say.
Abraham was like, "no doubt. I got your back kid." But God kept doing this. Abraham kept doing things that were already promised to him by God. His faith was being tested and Abraham was passing the initiation.
So, one day God tells Abraham, "you are going to have to sacrifice your son to me." Isaac, his son, was probably being annoying. He kept missing his curfew, running around the house, being a pain and so, Abraham was like, "sure, why not."
So Abraham makes Isaac think they are going to sacrifice a goat or something to God and they are walking up the mountain to the theme of The Dick Van Dyke Show when Isaac gets a little nervous. "Yo dad, what's up with this shiznit? We have no goat. What are we going to sacrifice?" he asked.
Abraham turns to his son and goes, "Don't worry about it" and surprisingly Isaac didn't, skipping along the trail until his dad was like, lay down for a second, I want to test this rope and Isaac did as he was told. Abraham tied him up and was like, "hey, I am going to practice with my knife, don't be scared" and when he was about to come down with the blade, out comes an angel running to Abraham. "Whoa!! Whoa. Chill dawg. You've been punked," the angel said.
Everyone just laughed and Abraham and Isaac stood up and smiled, stating, "We just got punked."