Post by Justine on Jul 5, 2006 10:28:45 GMT -5
> 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
> he was God and I didn't.
> 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
> 3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
> 4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. (So
> true!!!)
> 5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> 6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
> 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
> 8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
> 9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
> 10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.>
> 11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
> 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room- spinning medicine.
> 13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
> 14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
> 15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> 16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
> 17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
> 18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
> 19. Procrastinate Now!
> 20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
> 21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
> 22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
> 23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
> 24.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> 25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
> 26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
> 27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
> 28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
> 29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
> 30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.